Day 1/365 – 2017: Keeping Hopes Alive

Last year, I restarted blogging on WordPress in a full fledged way. That time my enthusiasm was high not for blogging only, but also for life, for meeting various goals in my life. I wrote the first 65 days out of 366 days of 2016. I even started writing on 66th day, but I could not finish it, and it remained unpublished (you can see a screenshot of that below!) Then, though I was very unwilling, I stopped writing. Life literally happened to me! 

On March 13th I was appointed a lecturer of English Literature in a university. The university is almost 3 hours away from my home. So, I shifted to the nearby locality (Maynamati, Comilla – that is where the university is situated) with my only child leaving my husband alone in Dhaka. My mom joined with me to support me leaving her husband alone in Chittagong. So, we – two and a half woman – started our journey there. It was the nicest journey I have ever had in my life. I always knew I would be loving teaching as a profession, but I never knew I would be loving it this much. My students were simply awesome. And, how nice it was to meet so many different personalities in a day! I was teaching them, counseling them, interacting with them, correcting their mistakes, celebrating occasions together, and et cetera. For the first time, I realized how a teacher can be in charge of assisting the students in shaping their lives. In other words, teachers assist in shaping a nation. Oh! How a sacred duty is that of a teacher! So, starting my life as a teacher I felt blessed. I was in peace.  

That March of 2016 was full of blessings for me. While I was happy dealing my new life, and profession, another great news was waiting for me. Just two weeks after joining in the university, I came to know that I had conceived my second child. I was the happiest. Though the second pregnancy was very tough for me, but I handled it somehow. Now my second child, my son is on earth, and I have forgotten what pain I have gone through all this time.

Now, I am in Dhaka enjoying my motherhood, and maternity leave. But, for few days, I was feeling very uncomfortable with me! The fact that I could not meet some very very important targets of 2016 is pricking me all the time. I knew I had gone through some sudden big changes to keep myself in the track to meet my goals. Yet, I could have tried harder. Last night, on new year’s eve, this thought became scary for me. I was shuddered with utter fear, and hopelessness that I might not be able to fulfill my targets anymore. I have felt that I have lost my starting point! 

It is a shiny, cold morning today. It is the first day of 2017. Waking up I felt that if I am not courageous enough to deal with the leftover situations of 2016, I should not be a hopeless at least. And, that I did not want to lose my hopes worked like a magic! I am writing down again, and I am confident that I am starting my unfinished projects again right today. I know now that one should not abandon hopes in life. Life is dead if hopes are dead. So, keep your hopes alive. It is 2017, a new year – your new chance to live again. 

A very happy new year to all. Wish you, and the world peace and prosperity.

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Day 1/365 – 2017: Keeping Hopes Alive

DAY 63+64+65 ON 65/366 : AN INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE, AND MISCELLANEOUS

I have attended an International Conference on March 3, and 4 hosted by Department of English and Modern Languages, North South University (NSU), Bangladesh. NSU is my university from where I am doing my masters in English. This is my first conference to attend. And, it is such an enlightening experience. I loved it. I learned a lot of things from the scholars. I have come to know about many new terms, and thoughts of literature, and I am filling so fulfilled. I presented a paper too in the conference. I am glad that I have presented my paper in my own university. Hope, this is the start.

As for today, I am feeling little bit down. The too much of enthusiasm, fulfillness, and happiness of last two days are totally absent today atmospherewise. Or, … I do not know, most of the times I feel low after the end of all great, and good events. Pfft!

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DAY 63+64+65 ON 65/366 : AN INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE, AND MISCELLANEOUS

Day 6/366 : Be Consistent to Be a Conqueror

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I am quite overwhelmed that I am writing my blog six days in a row. Most of the time, I lose my consistency in work. So, no matter how good I start a work, or work hard, my work gets low in quality just because I start getting inconsistent gradually.

I found several reasons behind my getting inconsistent in a middle of a project.

1. I always start a work bubbling up with full enthusiasm, and energy, and dreams – that is very normal and good, I know. But, I seldom calculate that how much of a work is attainable, and how much not. So, I put on effort for the portion of the work that is unwinnable.  And, the moment I fail to accomplish that portion of the work, it affects the whole process of the work badly. It shocks my expectations as I could not foresee the unattainable part. The effort I put unnecessarily, and inappropriately tires me, and I get hopeless, and depressed that vanish out my enthusiasm to finish the rest of the work nicely.

Even if I calculate the work beforehand, and know the do’s, and don’ts, I take it a challenge to win the unwinnable part. Taking challenge is never bad. A hardcore effort can obtain the unobtainable. Still, it is always wise to consider the time, opportunity, and ability in challenging things. Also, sometimes it is wiser to be pragmatic than a challenger. And, Alas! I am always a whimsical worker than a pragmatic one.

2. In stead of putting labor proportionately equally throughout a work, I have the tendency of working harder in the beginning. I even forget of taking break at times. I constrict myself with the work out of the seriousness, and tension of finishing the  work perfectly on/within time. Thus, my physical, and psychological energy drain out long before the work starts ripening. Despite of bearing the enthusiasm still within me, I become tired. Monotony engulfs me. The progress of the work becomes so slow that the hard work in the beginning almost gets in vain.

3. But, sometimes when I take breaks to recharge me, or, somehow I get a break unexpectedly, I find it very difficult to resume my work. Even if an obstacle come on the way of a work, I struggle lot to go back to the mainstream of the work. Facing obstacle, or having break in a work is actually part of any work, and it is healthy to accept it and carry onto next step of the work, but, I unfortunately block myself psychologically to restart the work, and get inconsistent.

4. I have some weird magnetic quality! Everything good, and nice, and charming attract me a lot. That is why, sometimes, I find me hopping from one thing to another leaving everything half-done. When I come back to my previous works, it gets too late. The distraction destroys the original zeal, and, slows down the flow. Also, works pile up like a mountain petrifying me to death, and leaving me labeling as an inconsistent worker. If I were little bit extra careful in prioritizing the work, I would know that not all the things are worth of wished for, and a lot of things can wait.

These are my primary reasons to get inconsistent. That is why, my new year’s resolution is to get consistent at first. Only because of my inconsitency, I am having troubles to reach my goals, and to build some good habits too. And, I am trying to blog daily as a part of acquiring consistency. Hope, this year I can win over the traits of inconsistencies, and be a confident consistent. I believe, the only way to conquer is to be a consistent.

I wish me all the best!

Day 6/366 : Be Consistent to Be a Conqueror