Day 1/365 – 2017: Keeping Hopes Alive

Last year, I restarted blogging on WordPress in a full fledged way. That time my enthusiasm was high not for blogging only, but also for life, for meeting various goals in my life. I wrote the first 65 days out of 366 days of 2016. I even started writing on 66th day, but I could not finish it, and it remained unpublished (you can see a screenshot of that below!) Then, though I was very unwilling, I stopped writing. Life literally happened to me! 

On March 13th I was appointed a lecturer of English Literature in a university. The university is almost 3 hours away from my home. So, I shifted to the nearby locality (Maynamati, Comilla – that is where the university is situated) with my only child leaving my husband alone in Dhaka. My mom joined with me to support me leaving her husband alone in Chittagong. So, we – two and a half woman – started our journey there. It was the nicest journey I have ever had in my life. I always knew I would be loving teaching as a profession, but I never knew I would be loving it this much. My students were simply awesome. And, how nice it was to meet so many different personalities in a day! I was teaching them, counseling them, interacting with them, correcting their mistakes, celebrating occasions together, and et cetera. For the first time, I realized how a teacher can be in charge of assisting the students in shaping their lives. In other words, teachers assist in shaping a nation. Oh! How a sacred duty is that of a teacher! So, starting my life as a teacher I felt blessed. I was in peace.  

That March of 2016 was full of blessings for me. While I was happy dealing my new life, and profession, another great news was waiting for me. Just two weeks after joining in the university, I came to know that I had conceived my second child. I was the happiest. Though the second pregnancy was very tough for me, but I handled it somehow. Now my second child, my son is on earth, and I have forgotten what pain I have gone through all this time.

Now, I am in Dhaka enjoying my motherhood, and maternity leave. But, for few days, I was feeling very uncomfortable with me! The fact that I could not meet some very very important targets of 2016 is pricking me all the time. I knew I had gone through some sudden big changes to keep myself in the track to meet my goals. Yet, I could have tried harder. Last night, on new year’s eve, this thought became scary for me. I was shuddered with utter fear, and hopelessness that I might not be able to fulfill my targets anymore. I have felt that I have lost my starting point! 

It is a shiny, cold morning today. It is the first day of 2017. Waking up I felt that if I am not courageous enough to deal with the leftover situations of 2016, I should not be a hopeless at least. And, that I did not want to lose my hopes worked like a magic! I am writing down again, and I am confident that I am starting my unfinished projects again right today. I know now that one should not abandon hopes in life. Life is dead if hopes are dead. So, keep your hopes alive. It is 2017, a new year – your new chance to live again. 

A very happy new year to all. Wish you, and the world peace and prosperity.

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Day 1/365 – 2017: Keeping Hopes Alive

Day 44/366 : Soliloquy on Spring

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It has been 44th days at a stretch that I am writing down my blogs. It is a record for me that I have finally enabled myself doing things consistently more than one month. This is the first habit of consistency I have acquired most consciously, and earnestly. Not everyday of my blogging went good, but it kept going on. Despite of my sickness, depression, PMS, other work loads, tight time schedule, writer’s block I kept on writing, even it was only a line, or a photo blog. I have 322 days left yet. Hope, I will not be stepping out of the line of consistency.

With writing the blog I started my journey of being consistent, I have been trying to be regular about other habits too. I am on the way of acquiring, and assimilating those habits, and skills gradually. The process is not easy. Tiredness, and tension engulf me sometimes leaving me feeling to quit the path. But, the desperate unwillingness of seeing me on the bottom lines is gearing me up to be on my motto, I guess.

I have still lot more things ahead to achieve. I have not started many projects yet. I know well that for some projects this year will not  be enough time for me. But, I am not going to give up. I want to accomplish my bigger goals in smaller instalments. I do not want to be in a hurry. I do not want to be scared by my long list of things to do. Rather, I want to be calm, and cool. I want to acknowledge my everyday efforts, and my accomplishments whatever little they are. I know, if I fail to value my little earnings, I will never be able to go for the biggest.

I know I will be stepping slow in some cases, and that may direct me to some failures. I will try my best to avoid them with strategies, but even it happens, hopefully, I will not be feeling down. I aim to be an ultimate winner, and I do not intend any shortcut. My slow steps will be my alert steps. My journey to be a successful seems a very lengthy one. Hope, I will always be remembering my plans, and will not be giving up. Also, hoping that the lengthy journey will not be getting procrastinated, and late too.

Last day, I suddenly went off. I thought that I was tired. But, realized today that I was scared. I cannot deny that the fear part has gone off me completely today, it is still residing there secretly. But, I am trying my best to be calm. I am taking inspiration of my 44 days of blogging. If this is be on the way of done despite of troublesome troubles, other things can be done too. Troubles are part of life. These want to stop any life in zero within a moment. But, why should taking care of them? Why should not the will power appear on the face of troubles as the greatest trouble?

Things are very easy to say, and very difficult to do. Even, I sometimes sound to me a consolation. I feel like crying, and screaming out of the desperation of doing my things, and out of the depression of facing the hardest obstacles in front of me. I know I sometimes impose the bravest soul on me even though I am scared. But, do I have any way back? Can it be done simply, and easily? In fact, is any path of success the smoothest one? If it is not so, I do not have options. So, I am not doing any wrong with me setting laborious, tough ways in front of me. As because of my previous inconsistencies, and negligences, I am already far behind, I have to cover it up with extra efforts. It has to be paid off by myself of what I did. So, yes, when my strategies question me, my targets terrify, and tire me, I just look at my back. And, then and there, I exactly know what I have to do at this moment if I want to create a prominent future.

It is the first day of Spring in Bengali year. Wish you all Shuvo Boshonto/ Happy Spring. Winter withers the nature to let you know the grand royal look of the nature in Spring. Spring is the time of colors, songs, and blooms. Let’s ourselves be bloomed too with positivity, goodness, dreams, and life. Wish you Shuvo Boshonto again.

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Day 44/366 : Soliloquy on Spring