Day 1/365 – 2017: Keeping Hopes Alive

Last year, I restarted blogging on WordPress in a full fledged way. That time my enthusiasm was high not for blogging only, but also for life, for meeting various goals in my life. I wrote the first 65 days out of 366 days of 2016. I even started writing on 66th day, but I could not finish it, and it remained unpublished (you can see a screenshot of that below!) Then, though I was very unwilling, I stopped writing. Life literally happened to me! 

On March 13th I was appointed a lecturer of English Literature in a university. The university is almost 3 hours away from my home. So, I shifted to the nearby locality (Maynamati, Comilla – that is where the university is situated) with my only child leaving my husband alone in Dhaka. My mom joined with me to support me leaving her husband alone in Chittagong. So, we – two and a half woman – started our journey there. It was the nicest journey I have ever had in my life. I always knew I would be loving teaching as a profession, but I never knew I would be loving it this much. My students were simply awesome. And, how nice it was to meet so many different personalities in a day! I was teaching them, counseling them, interacting with them, correcting their mistakes, celebrating occasions together, and et cetera. For the first time, I realized how a teacher can be in charge of assisting the students in shaping their lives. In other words, teachers assist in shaping a nation. Oh! How a sacred duty is that of a teacher! So, starting my life as a teacher I felt blessed. I was in peace.  

That March of 2016 was full of blessings for me. While I was happy dealing my new life, and profession, another great news was waiting for me. Just two weeks after joining in the university, I came to know that I had conceived my second child. I was the happiest. Though the second pregnancy was very tough for me, but I handled it somehow. Now my second child, my son is on earth, and I have forgotten what pain I have gone through all this time.

Now, I am in Dhaka enjoying my motherhood, and maternity leave. But, for few days, I was feeling very uncomfortable with me! The fact that I could not meet some very very important targets of 2016 is pricking me all the time. I knew I had gone through some sudden big changes to keep myself in the track to meet my goals. Yet, I could have tried harder. Last night, on new year’s eve, this thought became scary for me. I was shuddered with utter fear, and hopelessness that I might not be able to fulfill my targets anymore. I have felt that I have lost my starting point! 

It is a shiny, cold morning today. It is the first day of 2017. Waking up I felt that if I am not courageous enough to deal with the leftover situations of 2016, I should not be a hopeless at least. And, that I did not want to lose my hopes worked like a magic! I am writing down again, and I am confident that I am starting my unfinished projects again right today. I know now that one should not abandon hopes in life. Life is dead if hopes are dead. So, keep your hopes alive. It is 2017, a new year – your new chance to live again. 

A very happy new year to all. Wish you, and the world peace and prosperity.

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Day 1/365 – 2017: Keeping Hopes Alive

DAY 63+64+65 ON 65/366 : AN INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE, AND MISCELLANEOUS

I have attended an International Conference on March 3, and 4 hosted by Department of English and Modern Languages, North South University (NSU), Bangladesh. NSU is my university from where I am doing my masters in English. This is my first conference to attend. And, it is such an enlightening experience. I loved it. I learned a lot of things from the scholars. I have come to know about many new terms, and thoughts of literature, and I am filling so fulfilled. I presented a paper too in the conference. I am glad that I have presented my paper in my own university. Hope, this is the start.

As for today, I am feeling little bit down. The too much of enthusiasm, fulfillness, and happiness of last two days are totally absent today atmospherewise. Or, … I do not know, most of the times I feel low after the end of all great, and good events. Pfft!

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DAY 63+64+65 ON 65/366 : AN INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE, AND MISCELLANEOUS

Day 60 on 61/366 : Overview on February

It is not that last night I slept forgetting writing my blog. I was preparing a ppt presentation, and packing my luggage. Both were such an urgency for me that I thought of finishing them first. The tiredness of reading, and writing whole day, then preparing presentation exhausted my brain. I slept at almost 4 am. Luckily it was a good night sleep, and now I am feeling fresh at 9.23 morn of March, and writing for you. Feeling little bit ‘afsos’* because I could not write on the night of February 29 itself, and the night not going to come again for next four years. Sigh! Yet, thank you the leap year day! In this busy month of February if I would not get you, I would be in more time constraint, getting mad, and chronic hopeless for everything.

February went too fast, and furious. That was the month of chances, and opportunities for me. I was assigned in few projects that kept me laboriously busy almost all day, and night for the whole month. I went deeply frustrated, and hopeless too at various levels of my work. I worked hard, I tried my best. The first week of March will be my week of outcomes of February toil. I know that despite of working hard, I could not do excellent in many cases, and sometimes I put effort wrongfully, yet the month will be the milestone for me. I know my weak points, and mistakes now. I will not allow them again in my life. Many wrong decisions were made too! I feel sorry for them. But, life is based on trial, and errors. I am accepting gracefully both my bad times, and good times.

I have yet to give some final touch on few things. So, bye for today, and please, wish me luck.

* Bangladeshi, Indian, Pakistani, and few other nations probably share this word AFSOS in their languages. It means to regret. I really find this word very smart for usage, and very tasty for pronunciation too!

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Day 60 on 61/366 : Overview on February

Day 58/366 : My world

My daughter is my world. No matter how much naughty she is, how many times she disobeys me, or does not give me any chance to take rest, or, how many times I get irritated of her, or rebuke her, at the end of day she is my world, my happiness. No matter how many times a day I rebuke her, and she sulks, or cries, she cannot sleep without her Mamma at all at night. She is my heart, she is my life.

Her lovely eyes, sweetest smile, caring words, intelligent decisions fill my heart every moment. I wonder how astonishingly she is growing up each day, and percieving world, and realities in her way.

Her happiness is my happiness. But her pain hurts me more than she gets hurt. Today my daughter got sick. And, my heart is getting torn at every moment. It is the hardest to see the baby suffering.

May she get recovered soon.

I love you Mamma, I love you a lot.

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Jhilmil, my love
Day 58/366 : My world